tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72577240056431793842024-02-19T09:22:09.637-08:00Cute Face Chubby Waist
Stories and style of a cute-face chubby-waist cheap chick.
Stephanie Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05102276124580748885noreply@blogger.comBlogger53125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257724005643179384.post-24828485448441381082014-12-19T21:42:00.001-08:002014-12-19T21:53:43.240-08:00My Final Paper on Self-Objectification and Social MediaOkay pals, here it is. Keep in mind, this is undergrad... and rushed as I always am. :] *Procrastination queen.* Enjoy!<br />
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The Real “Thirst
Trap”: Self-Objectification, Body-Comparison, and other <o:p></o:p></div>
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Weapons Against Women
in Social Media<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-size: 8.0pt;">Warning: This document has
triggering information for anyone with issues regarding eating, weight, body, or
food. Images and language may be triggers. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It
is a well known fact in modern culture that mass media contributes to how we
see the world and ourselves. Plenty of documentaries and articles have been
written about the damage that the objectifying of women and unattainable ideals
portrayed in advertising can do to the psyches of women of all ages (Newsom;
Harper 649).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Magazines, TV commercials, and
summer blockbusters--all perpetuate the image of one female body type, and one
purpose for women to exist—to be looked at. When women are spoken of as
“empowered” in the media, it is for their blatant sexuality, not for their
intellectual accomplishments (Newsom).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As this standard permeates our culture, what are the casualties? And
what about the ways we represent ourselves?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What lengths will girls go to for “likes” on Instagram, Facebook, and
other social media?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because the damage
from mass media has been addressed frequently in research already, I’d like to
address here a newer danger in media--social media, and the very real effects
it has on the health and mental health of young women. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will prove that social media is taking more
time and attention of the public than any other form of media, and that women
are particular susceptible to it. In addition, I will show how social media in
particular, is creating a culture of increased body-comparison,
body-dissatisfaction, and self-objectification in women. By linking these two
points and illustrating a bit of lack of academic research in the area of
social media and body image, I will demonstrate that more awareness on this
topic is needed. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Social
media, as a relatively new part of our lives, has taken over fast and
furiously.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Social media is “the use of
dedicated websites and aplications to interact with other users, or to find
people with similar interests to oneself.” (OED Online)<o:p></o:p></div>
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Facebook is the most popular social
networking site (SNS), and was created only 10 years ago in 2004 (Wikipedia). Since
then, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest, among others, have launched, and
people are spending more time on social networking sites than on any other
internet activity, including work, school, or email. This adds up to nearly 6
hours a day for men and 8 hours a day for women (Klein). It is clear that women
are receiving more information through SNS, and are potentially more
susceptible to any effects that might exist, due to more exposure. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Previous
conceptions were that young women were largely affected by images in mass
media, such as actresses on TV, and models in magazines when it came to
thoughts of body comparison and dissatisfaction. Recent studies have shown that
young women are more likely to compare themselves and their bodies to those of
their peers, girls at school and on social media.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Girls are internalizing images and talk from
girls their own age and forming their body image and health habits from these
images. A study done for the <i><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">International Journal of Eating
Disorders </span></i><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">found that
“adolescent girls reported comparing themselves with immediate friends and
other girls at school more frequently than they compare themselves with models,
actresses, or family members.” (Wertheim qtd in Stice 110) The truly scary
thing about social media is that it comes home with teenage and young adult
women when they come home from school—the comparison to other girls never
stops. We are constantly online.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
accessibility and pervasiveness of social media platforms create a dangerous
cycle for young women. Because they see unrealistic ideals from birth, and
insecurities become set in so early, young women can tend to turn to SNS for
“inspiration” or validation for their insecurities, and end up trying to cure
them in unhealthy and unproductive ways.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Pinterest, for example, is a social media platform where women can
collect visual bookmarks (pins) from throughout the web, and organize them onto
pinboards that share a theme. Of all social networking sites, Pinterest is the
most overwhelmingly dominated by women; 90% of its users are female. (Klein) If
women feel they need to lose a few pounds, they can find millions of ways
through a simple search on Pinterest, adding them all to their “My Skinny
Motivation” pinboard, for example.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whether
any of these ways are healthy or not, is a risk that might be taken.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pins are not regulated, besides copyright
holders being able to remove content with request (Pinterest.com; Wikipedia),
and it is common knowledge that not everything on the Internet can be trusted
as true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In addition, if young women
want to beat themselves up (as they are so use to doing) as a tactic to work
out more and eat less, there are endless images of protruding clavicles and
ribcages to be pinned to “Thinspo” boards. This is where things get scarier. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“Thinspo” is short for “thinspiration.” These
are not yet real words in the English language, but they are used rampantly in
social networking communities, mostly by young women.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The definition is easy to infer from the
words used to make up “thinspiration”—thin inspiration. This seems innocent
enough, but a few searches of this term will show a darker side. To shed some
light, the Urban Dictionary definition gives a clearer picture: “Thinspo is
used by people suffering from eating disorders to help keep them inspired (to
resist treatment)… </span><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Thinspo is usually of
photos of skinny or bony celebrities or models. Ie: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I look at thinspo of Mary-Kate every day to make sure I don’t binge.</i>”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Urban Dictionary) When I googled thinspo, I
found images of dangerously thin girls, superimposed with text reading things
like, “Hungry to Bed, Hungry to Rise, Makes a Girl a Smaller Size,” and “Every
time you say no to food, you say yes to thin.” (Google Images)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were over 680,000 images of this
nature.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many originate from Pinterest,
and another SNS, Tumblr. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I searched
thinspo from within Pinterest, the following notice is listed: “</span><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Eating disorders are not
lifestyle choices, they are mental disorders that if left untreated can cause
serious health problems or could even be life-threatening. For treatment
referrals, information, and support, you can always contact the National Eating
Disorders Association Helpline at 1-800-931-2237 or </span><a href="http://nationaleatingdisorders.org/"><b><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">www.nationaleatingdisorders.org</span></b></a><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">.” (Pinterest.com) Beneath the
notice, there are the expected photos rail-thin girls, and hunger-cheering
mantras.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While I don’t believe that
these photos <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">cause</i> eating disorders,
I do believe that photos like these contribute to disordered eating and can
deepen some eating disorders, especially EDNOS or Eating Disorder Not Otherwise
Specified.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>EDNOS is not anorexia nervosa
or bulimia nervosa, which are the major dangerous eating disorders that we
first learn about in school. EDNOS is characterized by food or calorie restriction,
excessive dieting or exercise, fear of “unclean foods,” rapid weight loss, or
bingeing or purging (perhaps both). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Klein; nationaleationgdisorders.org) A person
may have any or all of these symptoms, but not have them all together, and so
no one notices.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They may also maintain
a normal body weight because they restrict food for several days and then binge
in secret.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Any of these habits are not
healthy and deserve attention. (nationaleatingdisorders.org) These habits
reflect an unhealthy body image that may be worsened as girls with depressive
thoughts about themselves and their bodies delve deeper and deeper into
“thinspirational” quotes and images on social media. The </span><i><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">International Journal of Eating Disorders </span></i><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">claims that the fact “that peer pressure
to be thin apparently increases body dissatisfaction is alarming, because body
dissatisfaction has emerged as one of the most potent risk factors for onset of
eating pathology. (Stice qtd in Stice)</span><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) says on their website that 35-57%
of adolescent girls engage in crash dieting, fasting, self-induced vomiting,
diet pills, or laxatives. Those are scary numbers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And all of those behaviors fall in line with
symptoms of EDNOS. NEDA also lists that mortality rates are higher for EDNOS,
than for other major eating disorders, at 5.2% for EDNOS, 4.0% for anorexia
nervosa, and 3.9% for bulimia nervosa. If close to one half of teenage girls
border on an unspecified eating disorder, with potentially the highest mortality
rate of all disordered eating patterns, any contributing factors for disordered
eating are worth looking into. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In a study
at the University of Strathclyde, Dr Petya Eckler found that although time
spent on social networks does not cause eating disorders, it does contribute to
increased negative body image. She found that “the more time women spend on
Facebook, the more they compare their bodies with those of their friends, and
the more they felt negative about their appearance.” (BBC.com) She added “These
comparisons are much more relevant and may hit closer to home. Yet they may be
just as unrealistic the images we see in traditional media.” (BBC.com) These
images are just as unrealistic, due to filters, Photoshopping, and editing that
is easily done with a swipe of a finger on a smart phone. Another study
suggests that women are more depressed after looking at images of attractive
people on social media, and in a better mood after looking at images of
unattractive people. (Klein) This is due to the comparisons that women
subconsciously make with the images against themselves. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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The comparisons
women subconsciously make and even seek out through SNS are also potentially
more damaging than those targeted at men.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Through social media, women, and especially young women, begin to
compare themselves to filtered, enhanced photos of friends, friends of friends,
girls mainly in their age group, who seem to be always smiling, fashionable,
traveling, happy, and put-together. I would argue that these kinds of images of
“normal girls like me” can be more psychological detrimental than photos of
faraway, though still aspirational celebrity bodies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On social media, there is a tendency to put
our best foot forward, only presenting what will receive the most “likes” and
“re-tweets.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one posts pictures of
themselves curled up on the couch depressed and eating cookies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone posts pictures of themselves on the
beach with a spray tan, a Photoshop App, and a filter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A teenage or college-age girl might start to
internalize, “If that is what my classmate looks like on the weekend, what is
wrong with me?” These internal messages will lead a girl to post and pose in
photos of her own that will receive an increased amount of attention or
“likes.” This may be the real demon in social media—self-objectification. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Self-objectification
is acted out in social media when women tailor their posts, whether consciously
or sub-consciously, to create an increased sexual response.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rachel Calogero, in her study on
objectification and social activism, explains, “<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Self-objectification occurs when the objectifying gaze is
turned inward, such that women view themselves through the perspective of an
observer and engage in chronic self-surveillance.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(312) Self-objectification is a symptom of
constant sexual objectification of women through mass media, social media, and
other outlets. When women feel like objects, they act like objects. Calogero
goes on to say, “Sexual objectification may be the most pernicious
manifestation of gender inequality, because under a sexually objectifying gaze,
women’s bodies become—even just for a moment—the property of the observer.
Research has demonstrated that, compared with men, women are perceived as being
more similar to objects and less human when their appearance is emphasized.”
(312) Objectification is so damaging and pernicious because of the results;
basically, women will self-objectify to attract or maintain the “positive”
attention from men or sexual partners. Women are culturized to view the attention
as flattering, validating, and even necessary for success. (Calegaro 313) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The damage
of self-objectification gets worse. Calegaro found in her study that because
objectification focuses on appearance, not action, women who self-objectify
become likely to perpetuate objectification culture, as opposed to
participating in social activism that might combat this detriment to women. Her
study focused on college age females. She basically had two groups of young
women; one group was asked to write a paragraph about a time they felt sexually
objectified, and one was asked to write a paragraph about a neutral subject,
such as their plans for the weekend. Then both groups were asked questions
about how likely they were to participate in gender-based social activism, like
attending a workshop, signing a petition (in person or online), circulating a
flier related to women’s rights (in person or online), or fund-raising in the
next 6 months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here is the interesting
part: Women in the self-objectification condition group reported significantly
less willingness to engage in gender-based social activism than did the women
in the control condition group. (Calogero 316) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This is
frankly frightening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My intuitive
reaction would be that after being objectified, a woman would want to fight
back. But it is human nature to repeat the status quo. (Calogero 316) Sadly,
images become internalized. Thoughts become reality. This is why social media
can be a weapon—women are inundated with objectifying images, and then they act
them out on their own Facebook and Instagram profiles all day everyday. “Given
the number of opportunities for women to experience self-objectification in
their daily lives, it is troubling that such experiences appear to thwart
women’s engagement in activism on their own behalf.” (Calogero 316)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Troubling indeed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Although
objectification theory contends that sexual objectification will socialize
women to engage in self-objectification, (Harper 650) there has to be another
way. Social media isn’t going anywhere, but perhaps there is a glimmer of hope
to be found in the images of women out there in the scrolling masses. There is
a community to be found of “body positive” and feminist pages on Instagram,
Facebook, and Pinterest, among other platforms. Katie H. Willcox founded a
movement called “Healthy is the New Skinny,” as well as Natural Model
Management, a modeling agency for fashion models of all sizes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She posts pictures of healthy, happy women,
with rosey cheeks and fat rolls, doing active things, eating and playing
outdoors. She says on her Instagram, “I don’t know where any of this will go, I
just know it is my job to create my vision and honor my passion. All I can do
is my best to make a difference in the world. That is all any of us can do and
it adds up.” (Willcox, Instagram) Another inspiring ‘grammer is Honorine
Hachey, best known for the #honormycurves movement on Instagram.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She posts daily that every woman’s body is
her own, completely unique, and should be honored no matter what.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A recent post read, “I’m body positive, in
that I’m POSITIVE I can do what I want with MY OWN BODY. I’m also body positive
in that I extend that same courtesy to each of you, in all your glorious forms,
without judgment or criticism… we are all beautiful…” (@honorcurves,
Instagram)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The positive messages are out
there if you look. Social media can be a weapon, but it can also be a shield. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The unique
thing about social media is that it is like a Choose Your Own Adventure
Book—the user is more in control of the content they view and receive than they
are with other media outlets. By searching out and following uplifting content
that doesn’t objectify women or perpetuate body-comparisons, we are voting. We
are in control.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If we don’t want to be
objectified, we can object. We can create a network, our own social network, of
the images we want to see everywhere of healthy, strong, independent, activist
women. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>By becoming
aware of the affects social media has on our culture and society as a whole, we
can see the specific damage that it has on women specifically, since women are
its major users. (Klein 58) When we learn the nature of the effects of viewing
content on social media on a constant basis—body-comparison with peers—we see
the damage that so much social media usage can do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The damages include increased
body-dissatisfaction and a propensity towards eating pathology in young women.
(Stice; neda.org)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In addition, the
unique culture of desiring attention and “likes” via social media leads to
increased self-objectification and likelihood to perpetuate the objectification
cycle. (Calogero; Harper)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The damage can
be undone through awareness and seeking out a social network of positive role models
and images, in addition to strict avoidance of female objectification while
using social media.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Strict avoidance
sounds difficult, but it is a start. In the words of Katie Willcox, “That is
all any of us can do, and it adds up.” (Instagram)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Works Cited<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Briggs, Helen. "'Selfie' Body
Image Warning Issued." <i>BBC News</i>. BBC, 10 Apr. 2014. Web. 3 Dec.
2014. <http://www.bbc.com/news/health-26952394>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Calogero, Rachel M. "Objects Don't
Object: Evidence That Self-Objectification Disrupts Women's Social
Activism." <i>Psychological Science</i> 24.3 (2013): 312-18. <i>JSTOR</i>.
Web. 2 Dec. 2014. <http://www.jstor.org/stable/23355121>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Facebook.com<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Harper, Brit, and Marika Tiggemann.
"The Effect of Thin Ideal Media Images on Women’s Self-Objectification,
Mood, and Body Image." <i>Sex Roles: A Journal of Research</i> 58.9-10
(2008): 649-57. <i>Springer Link</i>. Springer US. Web. 10 Dec. 2014.
<http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199-007-9379-x#>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Instagram.com<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Klein, Kendyl M. "Why Don 't I
Look Like Her? The Impact of Social Media on Female Body Image." <i>Scholarship
@ Claremont</i> 2013 (2013). <i>CMC Student Scholarship</i>. Claremont
Colleges. Web. 2 Dec. 2014. <http://scholarship.claremont.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1749&context=cmc_theses>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">nationaleatingdisorders.org<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Newsom,
Jennifer Siebel and Kimberlee Acquaro. <i>Miss Representation</i></span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">.
Girls Club Entertainment, 2011. Film.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Pinterest.com<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"Social Media." <i>Oxford
English Dictionary</i>. Oxford University Press, 1 Jan. 2014. Web. 1 Dec. 2014.
<http://www.oed.com.erl.lib.byu.edu/view/Entry/183739?redirectedFrom=social
media#eid272386371>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Media Impact on Body Image?" <i>BBC News</i>. BBC, 13 Oct. 2014. Web. 2
Dec. 2014. <http://www.bbc.com/news/health-29569473>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Stice, Eric, Jennifer Maxfield, and
Tony Wells. "Adverse Effects of Social Pressure to Be Thin on Young Women:
An Experimental Investigation of the Effects of “fat Talk”." <i>International
Journal of Eating Disorders</i> 34.1 (2003): 108-17. <i>Wiley Online Library</i>.
Wiley Periodicals, Inc. Web. 10 Dec. 2014.
<http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/eat.10171/abstract;jsessionid=4968E937874EF6DA35C6134A3F691F31.f01t03>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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2014. <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thigh_gap>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">" Thinspo." <i>Urban
Dictionary</i>. Urban Dictionary, 2 Mar. 2007. Web. 3 Dec. 2014.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"Thinspo Search." <i>Google</i>.
Google. Web. 3 Dec. 2014. <www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=thinspo>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Stephanie Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05102276124580748885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257724005643179384.post-11439028470604451912014-05-05T22:26:00.000-07:002014-05-05T22:26:03.773-07:00Next Step... Goals. Oh boy. So I'm doing this big Whole 30 thing, and believe me, if you are doing it or ever want to try it, that is enough. But I'm 12 days in as of tomorrow, and I have discovered some things about me that have led me to want to make some goals to step it up a little:<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>Only 2 snacks per day. I'm not supposed to be snacking much at all on Whole 30, but I have let myself have some fruit, veggies, or nuts every time I'm hungry. It's been A LOT of fruit and nuts. Way too much fruit, and I'm still liking that sugar. The point of this goal is plan my meals more mindfully so I'm fuller and not hungry between meals. Fill up on proteins and veggies. </li>
<li>Try more new recipes. I'm already falling into ruts, making my same favorites over and over. Lots of boiled eggs, lots of lettuce wrapped hamburgers and sweet potato fries. I need to pick 3-4 new recipes every Saturday before I shop that I can do that coming week. I'm taking the time to cook anyway. I can do it. </li>
<li>I'm ready to step it up with physical activity. I've been wanting to take a barre class for weeks and months, so tomorrow is the day. I'm going to take my gobs of energy, and show them off! </li>
</ol>
My main focus is the main rules of the plan, but I'll do my best with these. It's an awesome process. Stephanie Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05102276124580748885noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257724005643179384.post-37177034003227889792014-04-28T20:46:00.000-07:002020-05-25T11:46:15.923-07:00I'm getting fun again... I think.Unexpected side effect of Whole 30... My personality is coming back.<br />
<br />
I've been in a funk (seriously suffocating blues) for about a year, caused by one major blow of stress after another. It has been the hardest year of my life. No I take that back, because things like that are scary to say, but I will say there has been more sadness, shock, panic, pain, and anger packed back-to-back from March 2013 to April 2013 than in any other time in my life so far. It got hard to handle, hard to believe that it was real. It got easier to just joke about it--I told my sister and mom one night (the night after my YOUNGER sister had a mini-stroke and I got kicked out of my apartment) that I was going to write a book someday about this year entitled, "Stephanie Snickets: A Series of Unfortunate Events." <br />
<br />
I don't want to talk about the past year anymore, because it really sucks to think about, to hear about, and because that's what my therapist is for. But I will say that the year gradually beat me into a ghost of myself. My best, happiest moments were when I was well-rested on rare occasions, when I dragged myself outside with my dog, or when I was a little loopy from pain meds for my back (injured June 2013), so I actually felt like talking to people. Maintaining friendships has been very hard, because I don't want to talk about my personal struggles much, but I've been very lonely and sad and I need support. I've also been very difficult to be a friend to, because I shut down a lot, cry constantly, forget everything, and I'm not fun at all lately. Total downer. <br />
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But... silver lining, peeking through the clouds...<br />
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It's Day 4 of my Whole 30 and I feel <b>myself</b> growing a little bigger and bigger inside of me again. I feel like Stephanie isn't stuffed down and choked out by food. I've spent a year using food to kill my bad feelings, but it was killing my good feelings too I think. Killing my whole personality! <br />
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It is such a relief to feel that the fun Stephie is not lost forever. She is resurrected and taking some breaths and getting stronger! I was funny on instagram yesterday, I talked to my sister on the phone, I group texted my best friend and made her cry from laughing in church, and I even took a selfie. Nothing is more Stephie than that! I'm back baby.<br />
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And one more miracle, tonight, a nice guy that I'm talking to texted and asked how I'm doing, and I said, "Really good!" And I meant it. And he asked, "How was your day?" and I said, "It was good! Really productive at work, and ..." and told him some fun things I did too. I don't remember the last time I told someone I am "good", let alone "really good". For months it has been, "Okay," while holding back, "Miserable, I hate my life and everything in the world." I felt like a stranger was texting those words, but I just <b>meant </b>them with all my heart, and shocked the crap out of myself. So small, but a giant gleeful moment for me. <br />
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I hope I have expressed how huge this is without sounding totally crazy. Oh well, if you think I'm crazy, read a different blog. Xoxox. Stephanie Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05102276124580748885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257724005643179384.post-13156034942768819302014-04-27T13:43:00.000-07:002014-04-27T13:43:04.287-07:00I'm Learning Food Stuff. So guys, I'm having fun with my food. It's Day 3 only (!!) and I'm already feeling some freedom--less constant hunger, fewer cravings, less overwhelm, less stress with regards to "what will I eat right now that will not make me feel TERRIBLE?" Also, today is the first day I woke up without a headache in, oh, 3-4 months at least. So, bonus. And I made a fancy breakfast to celebrate.<br />
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Before: </div>
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It was yum. I've been noticing that my meals, and especially snacks are wanting to be very fruit/veggie and fat-focused. I need to work on upping my animal protein, at least for Whole30. I'm not used to eating it at every meal, that's for sure. But I'll give it a try for now, and see what I decide on after the 30 days! These are some snacks I've enjoyed so far:<br />
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Cashews, carrots, and homemade guac</div>
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Sliced banana, almond butter, and pecans. Perfect bedtime treat. </div>
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Today I had apple slices topped with avo slices and salt. I just wanted it and had it. So whatevs.<br />
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Next food experiment will be making homemade mayo in my blender... with the recipe below. That should help me get more protein in, with some chicken, egg, and shrimp salads. So far so good! <br />
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http://vahuntergatherers.com/2014/01/18/homemade-mayonnaise-recipe-paleo-gluten-free/Stephanie Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05102276124580748885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257724005643179384.post-91949627978484816422014-04-26T23:46:00.000-07:002014-04-26T23:46:34.729-07:00Whole30 Wish ListI have some hopes and dreams wrapped up in completing my round of Whole30. The benefits are supposed to be helping with systemic inflammation, easing of mysterious aches and pains, and a reset in regards to food.<br />
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These are the things I'm hoping for:<br />
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<li>less carpal tunnel pain</li>
<li>less back pain</li>
<li>fewer migraines</li>
<li>clearer skin</li>
<li>less puffy eyes</li>
<li>less tummy bloating</li>
<li>more energy</li>
<li>better sleep</li>
<li>maybe lose some inches (here's hoping!)</li>
<li>fewer carb and sugar cravings</li>
</ul>
So we'll see how it goes! I'll report on how everything turns out. I feel the same as always today. But I ate all my good food. I already need more eggs.<br />
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Stephanie Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05102276124580748885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257724005643179384.post-59135162841860592462014-04-25T22:12:00.003-07:002014-04-25T22:12:58.612-07:00Holy Whole 30Day 1.<br />
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I have begun this very brave and very important food rehab for myself. The program is Whole30, found <a href="http://whole30.com/whole30-program-rules/" target="_blank">here</a>. The premise is basically to eat only whole, unprocessed food, void of chemicals and emotionally, hormonally, or psychologically unbalancing ingredients (think grains, sugar, additives, etc).<br />
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I committed to the plan yesterday, shopped and prepared, and started today.<br />
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I had no choice. I've been eating like food is saving my life, but it's drowning me. I've been emotionally eating my brains out. I knew I had a serious problem when my therapist (judge me) asked me what I look forward to in my life day to day, and I could not think of one single thing besides food. Cafe Rio and cookie dough ice cream.<br />
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I've tried eliminating sugar, gluten, meat... I've been pescatarian and vegan. But I cheat. I'm a full blown addict. I need rehab and a total reset. Freedom from food. I can say one thing for all the craziness; I don't give up.<br />
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So with my final high weight behind me (208), and some scary bloated before pictures lurking on my phone, I'm ready to eat real food.<br />
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TODAY. I ate eggs and sweet potato hash browns with spinach and tomatoes for breakfast. I honestly don't even remember lunch, but it was there. Home-made baked sweet potato chips and fresh guacamole for a snack. Tilapia, zucchini, and pineapple for dinner. Boiled eggs, cashews, and banana for snack. It was a mess, but I did it! I had a headache and stomach ache all day, and started my first period for this calendar year.<br />
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29 days to go. Scary frozen smile emoji.<br />
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<br />Stephanie Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05102276124580748885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257724005643179384.post-7821698477517839092014-03-17T23:05:00.003-07:002014-03-26T03:50:29.862-07:00200This is what 200 pounds looks like.<br>
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200 pound girls wear skinny jeans. And animal print!</div>
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200 pound girls show their tummies. (And wear bikinis!)</div>
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200 pound girls dress up and get and holla'd at as much as the next girl (or more). </div>
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200 pound girls catch themselves staring. </div>
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200 pound girls take shameless bathroom selfies in dirty bathrooms, just like skinny girls. We are just that hot, we can't wait long enough to clean the bathroom. </div>
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200 pound girls go on vacations and have adventures and hug trees. :)</div>
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200 pound girls are sassy. Duh. Oh and don't always wear clothing "appropriate for their body type."</div>
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200 pound girls work out. When they are not taking pics of it. </div>
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200 pound girls get tired and work out anyway. </div>
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Um, and 200 pound girls climb in shopping carts like children. </div>
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Hi my name is Stephanie Spainhower, and I weigh 200 pounds. </div>
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This past fall and winter, I weighed myself no more than a handful of times, but I fluctuated between 190 and 200. About the same for the rest of 2013, when I was weighing myself a lot more. Basically, whether I worship the scale every day or every week or not, I was going to stay about there, and that is based a lot on my emotional eating, which is based a lot on what is going on in my personal life. </div>
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200 is my high weight as a constant fluctuater, and 160-ish is my healthy low. 200 was once a prison for me; it meant shame and pain and the belief that I deserved nothing. Not because of the weight, but because of the beliefs (and the causes), I carried the weight around. I was in a very scary and destructive relationship a few years ago, and didn't wake up and see myself, inside or outside, until I got out of it. Once that happened, I easily dropped 40 pounds. I've spent the years since then between 170 and 180 for the most part, happy as a curvy clam with that size. </div>
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200 for me now means beautiful. It doesn't mean I can't do better. It doesn't mean I'm hiding, or I'm embarrassed or ashamed. It definitely doesn't mean don't look at me. It doesn't mean I do what some one else tells me to do. It doesn't mean terrified. It doesn't mean not good enough. I promised myself years ago that nothing about me would ever be that girl again. </div>
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BUT. *moment of confession!* 200 does mean too much stress and not enough sleep. It does mean a lot of personal sadness and struggle. It does mean injury and physical and emotional pain. It does mean emotional eating. It does mean being lonely, and not always knowing who is really there. It means holding on to a lot that I should LET GO. </div>
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One thing I have been on the journey to let go of is the stigma of these numbers on the stupid scale. It is a liar (so fickle, seriously, can't trust it), and it doesn't tell the truth about us. If we only look at what the scale gives us, look at all the things we would miss about ourselves! I for one would might miss that I'm funny, smart, loving, real, wise, experienced, beautiful, creative, insightful, and talented. Not to mention, made up of all the fun and hotness pictured above. </div>
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Right now, 200 is an indicator to me about my physical and emotional health. And I can love my body and want to change it at the same time. As my back heals and I'm more mobile and active (happening!), my weight will stabilize to my comfy range. As I continue to work on my emotional health and habits (thank you therapy), I'll let go of weight physically and figuratively. I'm not worried. </div>
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200 may mean a lot of things. But it doesn't scare me. </div>
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"You have no power over me."--Sarah to the Goblin King</div>
<br>Stephanie Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05102276124580748885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257724005643179384.post-18234524522565740262013-11-10T20:36:00.000-08:002013-11-10T20:36:03.489-08:00Scale Free Fall I didn't forget about Scale Free September, I just forgot to write about it. :/ But! It has been going wonderfully! It has morphed into Scale Free Fall since I love it so much, and I may just move on to Scale Free Life soon. I have weighed myself 2 or 3 times since September 1st, and I have MAINTAINED MY WEIGHT. That is effing huge. I have not gained 20 million pounds without checking my weight every day or week, even through my birthday, a vacation, and Halloween treats. Further, I have shrunk in size. :) I failed to post my measurements at the beginning of this journey (oopsie), but I'll post them together with my current ones now. I made notes of very precise points on my body so I can be consistent every time.<br />
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September 1, 2013 Measurements in Inches:<br />
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Waist (1 inch above belly button): 36.5 <br />
Hips (largest part around booty): 48<br />
Arm (largest part): 14<br />
Bust (fullest part): 41.5<br />
Thigh (thickest part): 28<br />
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November 10, 2013 Measurements in Inches:<br />
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Waist: 35<br />
Hips: 46.5<br />
Arms: 14<br />
Bust: 40<br />
Thigh: 27<br />
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No words. Success speaks for itself. Stephanie Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05102276124580748885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257724005643179384.post-27612320797531341252013-08-31T15:49:00.000-07:002013-08-31T15:49:33.805-07:00Helloooooo!*In my Jerry Seinfeld voice* La la la!<br />
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Um, don't mind me.<br />
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I haven't written in a very long time, BUT we shan't dwell on it. On to the next thing. Tomorrow will begin my new blog series entitled "Scale Free September," which is very ambitious because it will mean lots more blogging for me, plus more activity (exercise) in my life, plus starting school, plus work as usual, plus physical therapy (relatively new addition), plus starting to volunteer at my local domestic violence rescue shelter, plus church and family and friends. :) No complaining here, it's all awesome stuff.<br />
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So let me explain. Scale Free September is inspired by a few of my imaginary bff's from the internet. My favorite fitness and clean-eating blogger is Erika Kendall of blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com. I learn tons and tons from her blog, and agree 100% with her ideas, nope, FACTS about the right ways to get healthy and create a healthy lifestyle by being active and eating natural, clean, unprocessed foods. Plus she inspired me to start cooking in the past year. That's a big step. Erika lead a Scale Free Summer, but I was not in a place for that yet. I feel ready to make the step now for myself.<br />
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My other inspiration is a gorgeous girl named Honorine. Really that's her name. You can find her on Instagram @honorcurves, honoring her curves and everyone else's. I've had the honor (no other word fits as well) of becoming her digital cyber friend, and I get to enjoy her daily pep talks pumping me up to love everything about my jiggly beautiful body, no matter how it shrinks and grows. While I've long been one on board with improvement, I've always had appreciation and affection for what is me RIGHT NOW. To make it simple, I'm hot stuff and I know it, and Miss Honor Curves, is about spreading that same philosophy to a world of women of all sizes and shapes. One more thing, she does not weigh herself. I've been attached to weighing myself so regularly for so long, I thought: What a brave and admirable outlook on things. I've got to try that. <br />
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A few notes about my relationship to the scale, and my personal reasons for a journey without it:<br />
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I have gone through a full gammut of being weight-obsessed and just weight-conscious in my life, but weight (the actual number) has always been a defining factor for who Stephanie is. During my earlier college years, I kept a scale in the kitchen (not a food scale, a people scale), and weighed myself before and after each meal, in addition to each morning and each night. I also spent 2-3 hours in the gym most days, ate fruit snacks or toast if I ate, passed out in classes, and my grades sucked. I was the lightest I've ever been in my adult (or teenage) life! I also thought I was huge. HUGE. Like morbidly obese. Like I looked in the mirror and hated it and cried. Like I got ready for school in the morning for 2 or 3 hours, got dressed 4 or 5 times, couldn't do it, and went back to bed, and then went to the gym later. Like I would have a full melt down if an occasion called for a swimsuit.<br />
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That was 30 or 35 pounds lighter than now, and now I'm in bikinis, shorts, leggings, tanks, crop tops, naked, whatever I feel like for summer occasions. So yes I've grown up and come a long way with regards to my body image, thankfully.<br />
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But I still tend to continually live with a mindset of envisioning some golden number I need to see on the scale. Lately it's been just "what I weighed last summer" (169), because last summer was perfect and amazing, and I felt great at that weight. I do in all reality feel like right around there is a great realistic healthy weight for me. It was easy to maintain for over a year, which is an accomplishment for a fluctuater like me. I'd like to stabilize somewhere steady through the healthy habits I've developed, and then just see that at my check ups at the doctor, and not give it more thought than that. I don't want to be so co-dependent with my scale. I shouldn't need to check in daily-weekly-whatever. <br />
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My other reason to break up with the scale is that I think other measurements can be a lot more effective than weight to measure the progress of health, which is what I'm going for. Since my appearance already makes me happy now, I get to forget about fat or skinny, and focus on health. I'll be using a measuring tape and body fat percentage, once at the beginning and once at the end of September, to check any change. Other than that, the plan is just focus on healthy habits and feeling good, and see what happens. It is NOT a weekly weight goal. It is not reward-myself-for-weighing THIS. It is not I-can't-wear-that-until-I-weigh-THAT. <br />
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My goodbye weigh-in today was 183.6. I lost 17 pounds this summer, and that's an accomplishment to not be overlooked, because I did it the right way this time. I'm giving my frenemy The Scale to my roommate Megan now, to hold onto for safekeeping, in case I need it for an unforeseen reason in the future.<br />
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The elements of Scale Free September will be introduced with more detail tomorrow, along with my measurements to start. I'm excited to be so freeeeeeeee. Wheeeee!!!!<br />
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Join in or follow along using #scalefreeseptember on Instagram and Twitter.<br />
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Love,<br />
Stephie xoxo<br />
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<br />Stephanie Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05102276124580748885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257724005643179384.post-14314708620717383022013-05-23T13:17:00.001-07:002013-05-23T13:18:43.035-07:00Um hi guys.My sweet friend Tessa just reminded me that people actually read my blog (she does), so I should probably write...<br>
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Few updates. Still enjoying success with Weight Watchers. Fancy spin: I'm excitedly trying a pescetarian diet for one month. I began May 11, and will finish Saturday June 15 for good measure. This lifestyle has me feeling great. I feel that I have increased energy and I've noticed less soreness and faster recovery after workouts. That is a bonus that I never would have anticipated! I'm lovin it. My hippie vegan sister has promised me I will lose 10 pounds in 1 month, and I've lost 6 in a week and a half sooooo, not worried.<br>
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Also, I've entered another weight loss challenge at work, and this one is unique. I had to put $25 in the pot to enter, and there is now $375 in entry fees at stake for the winner. That winner will be me, if you weren't sure. I'm 100% motivated this time around. I started the competition at 200 pounds even, on the Namify gym scale. That was after my San Diego gain... That trip was amazing and well worth every ounce. :) :) :)<br>
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Here is my recent progress, since I haven't weighed in since before the Cinco de Mayo-San Diego-Fiesta Like There's No Manana-Trip. I'll work on consistency, I promise. My work out habits, are actually becoming habits now, you'd think I could get this weekly blog-in thing down....<br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizO9x_HXEvIc7E-_akvU6ERtcxagPtSuOa18BPyY09LOMT1a44PXoz9teoyEF6gPD7FWyF5oCiseyGIc5tG-TIoVNnCXDBdNz15Un__vYs02RUa_Fl_mAJrCDlQA8tLNRDDd2-MKuVtRs/s640/blogger-image-106241400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizO9x_HXEvIc7E-_akvU6ERtcxagPtSuOa18BPyY09LOMT1a44PXoz9teoyEF6gPD7FWyF5oCiseyGIc5tG-TIoVNnCXDBdNz15Un__vYs02RUa_Fl_mAJrCDlQA8tLNRDDd2-MKuVtRs/s640/blogger-image-106241400.jpg"></a></div>Stephanie Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05102276124580748885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257724005643179384.post-3081297207217247272013-04-18T10:45:00.000-07:002013-04-18T10:45:03.150-07:00Squats All DayThere are some days when I don't have any time to work out. That means I just slept in in the morning through the time I scheduled for my work out, and I have a busy night with plans, so now I've left myself with no time and its my own gosh darn fault. So what do I do?<br />
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I make myself a little exercise chart in my notebook, and list out squats, lunges, jumping jacks, and anything else I can think of, and then do ten or 20 in the restroom every time I take a quick break at work. I just keep a running tally all day, and by 5 PM I've done a couple hundred of everything, and built up a sore little tushy and legs!<br />
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At least it's something! Tell me some more ideas! :)Stephanie Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05102276124580748885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257724005643179384.post-47323636064590881492013-04-11T13:22:00.000-07:002013-04-11T13:22:44.583-07:00Back from the DeadIf you have wondered if I fell off a cliff, it's because, well, I did. And I've been wandering around suffocating in the fire swamp with all kinds of quick sand and scary ROUS's everywhere for the past 3 weeks or so. That is one metaphor for it. The other is I turned into a light-loathing vampire/werewolf, and the closest thing I've been doing to social is gnashing my teeth in the dark and growling "Rawr rawr rawr!" which means, "I wish I was back to a human!" Well, hallelujah, I've been back to a human for 4 days now. Translation: migraine free since Monday.<br />
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If you understand the gravity of the pain and nausea I've experienced for the past 3 and a half weeks, you would have a party right now. Because I want to have a party, but I'm still shell-shocked-recovering and feel like I'm still wandering out of a sewer tunnel. Or concentration camp. Or something. Okay I'm dramatic.<br />
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But human now. And I'm better. I ate whatever the f I could find like a scavenger (and that soothed my soul) for the first two weeks, and then stopped the fast food again March 31, and then quit it with sweets again yesterday. I didn't go crazy with sweets, but did have some this past week during my period. I'm back on my meds, and feel normal enough to remember what in the heck my goals are and why I need to go to the gym. I did Zumba Tuesday and I'm going today. I'm back for weighing in, and taking things one day at a time. <br />
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I'm not making any huge re-commitments or proclamations, just taking one human step at a time. Rawrrr.<br />
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<br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV6uGhjp5ZAoOBSQ95joKSiCiuKe8mynMDJwuEQ0Z_CUC5bCIKest19jvH1BD7mqrhsBtTYHlzaFP1oBjS5_OlxrNmX8iLBWICyV5MW6NM0392A3Z5N5uYBWEAvdXlmSgtDcaQC8AMMaI/s640/blogger-image-2130895686.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV6uGhjp5ZAoOBSQ95joKSiCiuKe8mynMDJwuEQ0Z_CUC5bCIKest19jvH1BD7mqrhsBtTYHlzaFP1oBjS5_OlxrNmX8iLBWICyV5MW6NM0392A3Z5N5uYBWEAvdXlmSgtDcaQC8AMMaI/s640/blogger-image-2130895686.jpg" /></a></div>Stephanie Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05102276124580748885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257724005643179384.post-61805235718975062562013-03-19T20:26:00.001-07:002013-03-19T20:26:13.148-07:00Small HUGE victorySo, I was really hungry today. That tends to happen the first few days of my period, I'm sure ladies can relate. If you remember, I committed (again) to no fast food, and I have made that commitment with a caveat: I can have fast food in San Diego, and next time I go to Vegas, if I feel the need and if I haven't had any since then. I also only have 6 1/2 weeks til my San Diego trip, and it is really time to be serious about what I'm putting in my mouth.<br />
Anyway, I stopped at the bank after work to make a deposit. The bank is surrounded by McDonalds, Wendy's, Taco Bell, KFC, Burger King, Taco Time, and Arby's. And probably others that I forgot. Not so good for me to be around those nasty places that are somehow still tempting in my hormonal and ravenous state. I started driving home after the bank, planning what I would make for dinner. Arby's got the best of me...for a moment. I wanted that beef so bad. I was literally in the drive thru line, pulled up to the sign to order, and right when the poor Arby's person was about to greet me, I drove off. I RAN FOR MY LIFE. <br />
Whew. I made it home and cooked. Quinoa and veggies. And when I was still snacky after, I popped popcorn. Point is, although I let myself eat as much as I wanted of healthy at home food, the great part is I DID NOT EAT OUT. I'm proud, and I'm going to bed. <br />
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XoStephanie Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05102276124580748885noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257724005643179384.post-26489709030662501952013-03-05T09:54:00.001-08:002013-03-05T09:54:34.438-08:00WEIGH IN FRIDAY 3-1-13I'm late in posting. I guess in wasn't that into it. Which is stupid, because my weight was fine, not amazing, but fine. I just was busy and a little overwhelmed last week. Here it is:<br />
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Jk the picture doesn't want to load. I will try to update it later. It's 187.2. So up a little from my Michael Kors weight, but that will even out. I get to keep them, so there.<br />
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Namify weight was 188. :)Stephanie Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05102276124580748885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257724005643179384.post-10311274323152569522013-02-14T19:24:00.002-08:002013-02-20T12:24:44.460-08:00MotivationSo, it's my blog, and I'll say what I want to. Even if it's weird.<br />
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I want to talk a little bit about what motivates me and how I stay excited about fitness and losing weight. It can be tricky. Not that tricky, because I really just purely WANT to be healthy deep down, but every so often this voice talks to me that says "Um hello, you are gorgeous and perfect just the way you are, eat what you want!" There are two sides to this story, one side that is supremely grateful that I find myself beautiful at my "heavier" weights, and one side that wishes in a twisted way that I hated myself enough to never eat and to work out 10 times a week. Told you this would get weird. BUT. The happy balance I am leading up to is what I mentioned a moment ago: my real motivation to take care of myself in a healthy way because deep down I just love myself that much, and want to show my gorgeous body I love it by nourishing it, making it strong, sexy, and amazing, and also because I love how I feel when I do. <br />
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Now, when this ultimate motivation weakens a bit, and I need something more tangible or immediate to spur me along, I like to give myself little rewards and reminders. I get mini-rewards for every 2 pounds I lose, and larger rewards for larger milestones. I'm still working on the Michael Kors boots I mentioned in an earlier post. They are for hitting 186 on the scale. Mini-rewards are things like fashion magazines, nail polish, lip gloss, Bath & Body Works treats, etc. I earned this pretty nail color for this past Friday's weigh in:<br />
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If material treats somehow didn't do it for me (which would be cuckoo), I like making lists of benefits and fun things that will come with my weight loss, that are less material. This might get weird again, but again, my blog...<br />
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<li>daydream about laying on the beach in my new swimsuits in San Diego</li>
<li>smaller boobs :) (I swear this is motivation enough.)</li>
<li>summer clothes</li>
<li>knee high boots not being tight on my calves</li>
<li>face skinnier in pictures</li>
<li>feel stronger running dirty dash race coming up</li>
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Things like this keep a girl with a vivid imagination moving forward. Plus anything worth making a list for is worth fighting for. Plus I love lists. Perfect plan.<br />
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Happy Vday from a sick puppy on the mend. <3 Stephanie Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05102276124580748885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257724005643179384.post-46625442186755929112013-02-06T11:36:00.001-08:002013-02-06T11:36:54.275-08:00Shrimps are my favoriteI have a feeling if Forest Gump's friend Bubba could have reigned in the bottom lip a bit, we could have seriously hit it off romanically. We have a lot of common interests. Okay, our obsession with shrimp at least. I could make anything with shrimp. It's my favorite everything. Shrimp pasta, shrimp tacos, shrimp salads, shrimp stir fry, shrimp pizza.. and today shrimp open-faced quesadilla. Behold.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhad-NgUq_hGizZAmq6zZNbx_3q2q7jUgUwKNKtT8COg_re-KzvigHiuHis7SZMpyjWrS4onVrn9IkDV_qXWjTf-RCKtt7K0wbduR1OCkaMSlPkdDiVonJwSS746hY7ytYxLuH9NyQYUdI/s1600/open+shrimp+quesadilla.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhad-NgUq_hGizZAmq6zZNbx_3q2q7jUgUwKNKtT8COg_re-KzvigHiuHis7SZMpyjWrS4onVrn9IkDV_qXWjTf-RCKtt7K0wbduR1OCkaMSlPkdDiVonJwSS746hY7ytYxLuH9NyQYUdI/s1600/open+shrimp+quesadilla.jpg" /></a></div>
Just a few baby shrimp, 1 Tbs. low-fat cream cheese, sliced peppers, 1 oz cheddar, 2 Tbs. fresh salsa on a whole wheat tortilla, nuked for 30 sec. Presto. Protein, fat, and fiber for 325 calories and gorgeous. My CEO was jealous. ;)<br />
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<br />Stephanie Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05102276124580748885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257724005643179384.post-28714896565852945332013-02-06T09:57:00.001-08:002013-02-06T09:57:42.979-08:00um. blechhhh. I felt like yuck yesterday. Like a word inappropriate to say for my audience. I was tired, sore, my injured tendon was killing me, my cramps were out of control, and I was cranky and had no energy for anything besides turning Friends on my TV and taking a nap. Not even watching, just sleeping knowing my Friends were there.<br />
So what did I do on the way home from work? Pick up a KFC Chicken Pot Pie and Cheese Curds. I sure did. And then ate the whole thing. And this is after I "gave up" fast food. Great.<br />
So apparently I'm still comfort eating.<br />
This was after I had also spent the evening prior cooking, writing out my meals for the day, packing them up, pumping and preparing myself for my great food plan in a new way. I just shot it all to heck.<br />
BUT GUESS WHAT.<br />
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I just suck sometimes. And then,<br />
I wrote out my meals for today, cooked and packed them again, tracked the atrocity that I called a dinner, and moved on. Today will be a better day. I'm definitely coming down with a cold, and need to shop tonight and get some lemons for tea and some other good stuff, but today is better already. I have my workout stuff packed, and looking forward to some low impact elliptical time that won't aggravate the tendon in my hip. Keepin it movin.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnbP2S-bWfH8ifqyx3UkWFCJkrs4FM0feqygAdNAJM9GFQR6TmIlUFck01iEMJRkaCVE8ru4rZOFFBopzYwsoaZzqTj-N1ldo7TfEZL5t8arukX_VcXJaUXCqJQ4RLl01xRDUmf90KBR4/s1600/war.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnbP2S-bWfH8ifqyx3UkWFCJkrs4FM0feqygAdNAJM9GFQR6TmIlUFck01iEMJRkaCVE8ru4rZOFFBopzYwsoaZzqTj-N1ldo7TfEZL5t8arukX_VcXJaUXCqJQ4RLl01xRDUmf90KBR4/s320/war.jpg" width="252" /></a>Stephanie Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05102276124580748885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257724005643179384.post-88448352159571240272013-01-28T20:10:00.000-08:002013-01-28T20:10:02.560-08:00Next StepI had a tough time with temptation tonight. A sweetie sweetheart in my ward brought me some delicious-looking banana bread cake, and also.. I had a rough day. When I came home to that moist, thickly frosted cake, I really wanted to throw my no-sugar policy out the window. Or just take a mini-break. But I didn't. I ate dinner. And I still wanted to eat the cake. But I didn't. And then I did laundry and did my nails. And I still wanted to eat the cake. But I DIDN'T. And then I made some tea, and watched some Love and Hip Hop, and I'm finally over the cake.<br />
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I talked to myself about the cake for a while, and I came down to this conclusion: 1) It's only January, 1/12 of the way through my year-long goal. I am stronger than that. 2) This is not the first or last lovely sweet treat I will receive from a kind friend. It does not warrant me dropping something I have made a high priority. I can be gracious and grateful without going off track. 3) This is not my first or last long/stressful day. I can cope using other things besides food (manicure, tea, garbage TV, whatever). That's what I came up with. I'm happy with that for me.<br />
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Something else, now that I've seen my own super powers against sweets of all strengths and varieties, I'm ready to step it up. From February forward, I'm cutting fast food. I've still been eating fast food occasionally, trying to make "healthier choices" when I do, but it contains tons of chemicals, sugar, and salt that feed food addiction and make me overeat. Um also, it's really high in calories and bad for me. So it is next to go completely on the clean eating mission.<br />
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Chop. Stephanie Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05102276124580748885noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257724005643179384.post-67645465935255302372013-01-22T10:49:00.000-08:002013-01-22T10:49:27.123-08:00LOOK at what my sweet friend didMy awesome friend Karen at work made this delicious organic veggie soup:<br />
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And shared it with me today for lunch! What an angel! Because I am completely out of groceries and would have probably ended up with fast food or some other garbage today for lunch. Yuck. Who knows what I would have stooped to. That's what happens when I leave myself no options. Grocery shopping today! Woohoo! Then chopping, prepping, freezing what I need for the next weeks-worth of meals. :)<br />
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But today, I lucked out. Thanks Karen.Stephanie Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05102276124580748885noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257724005643179384.post-49709288482863426922013-01-21T07:39:00.000-08:002013-01-21T07:39:45.663-08:00I'm starting to actually get EXCITED for my weigh ins each week. Like, it's Monday and I can't wait for Friday because I know I'll have lost weight. It's Monday, and I didn't screw everything up over the weekend. I worked out and I stayed under my calorie goal every day and I'm awesome. Friday, bring it on.Stephanie Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05102276124580748885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257724005643179384.post-31663908791250256832013-01-15T15:12:00.001-08:002013-01-15T15:12:37.890-08:00Trick of the Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUR3VBnPFHr8KQTJNjIGCS5RuMYRKDnuA6M2kQDbedvVQJqyux4VsvJ2vHm-G6jO-tkvaDa17DCbT4qqr-odl_8ZtKq4n_2wjkWM7rVToVCHqwz4gSppoGNjv9DESeTguVPJimFBqxcyg/s1600/almond+water.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUR3VBnPFHr8KQTJNjIGCS5RuMYRKDnuA6M2kQDbedvVQJqyux4VsvJ2vHm-G6jO-tkvaDa17DCbT4qqr-odl_8ZtKq4n_2wjkWM7rVToVCHqwz4gSppoGNjv9DESeTguVPJimFBqxcyg/s1600/almond+water.jpg" /></a></div>
Here's my old almond trick: add 8 (or how ever many puts you at your water goal) almonds to your water container in the morning, then eat one each time you finish a glass. All natural healthy way to keep count, flavor your water, and get a little extra protein. Drink up!!Stephanie Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05102276124580748885noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257724005643179384.post-57527652900300549582013-01-14T18:42:00.002-08:002013-01-14T18:42:18.904-08:00I'm sick of some of my own favorite clothes being too small. Sick. Stephanie Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05102276124580748885noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257724005643179384.post-56227748451545980642013-01-08T12:45:00.001-08:002013-01-08T12:45:20.448-08:00another thing... I didn't workout this morning. I stayed in my lazy lovely bed. I just need to say that, so no one thinks I'm doing everything perfectly, and I don't feel like a lie. Also, all I'll do tonight for a workout is a yoga video and abs, which is something, but not as much as I need/want to do today, and I have my reasons. Just a temporary feminine physical limitation for today. Anyway, I'm still going to do something, and make sure my diet stays tight today. Diet in the sense of that is what the things you eat are called, not in the sense that I am on a diet. For I am NOT. I eat healthily and consistently the best that I can, and evolve as I learn new things about my body. Forever and ever amen.<br />
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<br />Stephanie Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05102276124580748885noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257724005643179384.post-1063674721090012442013-01-08T12:04:00.002-08:002013-01-08T12:35:03.408-08:00On a Roll <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Look what I made for myself today. Because I'm fancy. </div>
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I deserve to enjoy lunchtime daggummit. And for 230 calories, I deserve a pat on the back too! </div>
Stephanie Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05102276124580748885noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7257724005643179384.post-68330122563738591942013-01-07T12:49:00.001-08:002013-01-07T12:49:27.825-08:00Lunch time on a DimeI didn't take a picture, so this is now officially boring I guess, but I still want to talk about my lunch. I am proud of it for being healthy, simple, cheap, and resembling-cooking.<br />
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I just a baked sweet potato, topped with lean ham slices and Weight Watchers string cheese, all melty on top. Oh and edamame on the side. Random things I had around and grabbed at the last minute. But delicious! And filling! And full of protein and fiber! And only 430 calories! I am proud. <br />
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Yes, ideally I plan my meals better. Yes, ideally I shop often and have yummy things in my pantry and fridge and work fridge and desk snack drawer. But when I'm left with the odds and ends, I'm happy to say I came up with something that worked out great. And I didn't drive to Subway in a pinch. That is all I have to say about that.<br />
<br />Stephanie Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05102276124580748885noreply@blogger.com0